To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
