I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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