He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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