im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize