he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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