I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm like, not good at living.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
