guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
