Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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