I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
