it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
