If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
