Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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