Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
