what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
