to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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