Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
