They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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