I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
