Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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