I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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