see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
