Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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