Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
