hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sarcasm needs its own font
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
