Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize