They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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