That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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