the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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