Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
