Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
