this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
