Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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