I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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