The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
