You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize