NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
