Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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