i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
