I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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