quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
