I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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