do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
