The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
