He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
