I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
