I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
