when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
