WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
