Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
