I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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