also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
