Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
