i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
