She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
