He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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