i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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