I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
