I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
