I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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