You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
birth control should be required to get into college
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
