lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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