Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I heard we made out
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
