I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
