if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
