I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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