Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
