You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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