it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize