the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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