she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
