God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
