Dual....:-)
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
